[Siqi’s Psychology Column]Why is self-discipline always prone to failure? From a psychological perspective, re-understand the matter of “willpower”

Chinese Herald columnist Skee

Many people have this experience: they are full of confidence at the beginning and are determined to be more self-disciplined. Get up early, exercise, study, and check your phone less.

But after a while, things slowly went wrong: I made an exception today, postponed it again tomorrow, and finally, the plan quietly disappeared, leaving only disappointment in myself.

So we often come to a conclusion: “I just wasn’t disciplined enough.”

But from a psychological perspective, the problem is often not that you don’t work hard enough, but that our expectations of “self-discipline” are unrealistic.

Self-discipline is overly idealized

In popular culture, self-discipline is often portrayed as a personality trait: as if some people are born with self-discipline and will. But research tells us a less romantic truth: Willpower is a limited resource.

The “ego depletion” theory proposed by psychologist Roy Baumeister states that when we continue to do things that require self-control, willpower will fatigue like a muscle.

This means: after making decisions, restraining desires, and coping with pressure all day long, and then requiring a high degree of self-discipline, failure is actually a high probability event, not a personal flaw. Time and time again, psychological research reminds us of an uncomfortable fact:

A large part of human behavior is not a “thought-out choice” but an immediate response to the environment.

Why“The more you push yourself, the easier it is to give up”？

When many people try to change, they use a “confrontational” method: relying on reminders, blames, and even shame to force themselves to persevere. In the short term, this may work. But in the long run, this approach often brings two consequences:

1. Mental exhaustion
2. Once interrupted, give up completely (“I failed again anyway”)

Psychological research has found that high-stress self-control is difficult to maintain for a long time. Because an environment of constant confrontation is not the most conducive to human growth. In a repeatable environment, people can achieve effective and sustained change.

What is truly reliable is not self-discipline, but “making fewer decisions”

There is an interesting phenomenon: many people who appear to be “very self-disciplined” actually do not have a fierce psychological tug-of-war with themselves every day.

They are just:

1. • Do fixed things at a fixed time
   • In a fixed environment, trigger fixed behavior

In other words, they do not rely on willpower every day, but rarely put themselves into environments that require a high degree of self-control.

For example:

2. • People who exercise, prepare sportswear in advance
   • A person who writes has a fixed place to write
   • If you don’t want to check your phone, put it in another room

What these people do is not to be “more ruthless”, but to be smarter in reducing choices and consumption. When self-discipline fails, environment often wins.

An often underestimated fact: environment is more powerful than character

In psychology, there is a very important point that is often ignored at the popular level: situations often have a far greater impact on behavior than personality traits. You may think: “I am a disciplined person” or “I am not the kind of person who is easily distracted”

But research has found that as long as the environment changes slightly, almost everyone will change their behavior – regardless of “strong will”. Here’s why: There are certain places where you are particularly productive. At certain times, you are particularly likely to check your phone or crave sweets.

After changing the environment, your living habits suddenly become different. It’s not that you have changed, but that the environment is pushing you in a certain direction.

What you need is not “more self-discipline”, but planning and creating an environment for yourself that will not lead to distraction. Research has repeatedly shown that the impact of environment on behavior is far greater than we are willing to admit. Failure does not mean that you are not good, it may just be a problem with the system design.

Instead of asking, “Am I disciplined enough?” let’s change the question. Psychological research shows that when the behavior is designed to be “smooth” enough, people will not even feel that they are “trying hard.” These seemingly small details will quietly shape a person’s life trajectory day after day. This is why: environmental design is more reliable than self-reminder.

Self-discipline is not the core, design is

In the long run, what changes your life is never your persistence, but the system you are in repeatedly. When the system is reasonable, you don’t need to encourage yourself every day; when the system is imbalanced, no matter how much you blame yourself, it will only drain your energy. In the new year, if you find yourself failing in the same place over and over again, a more constructive question might be:

3. • “Is this behavior too difficult to happen?”
   • “Is there any way to make it easier?”

Change does not necessarily start with “I work harder”, but can start with:“Can I change the location, the time, the trigger point?”When the environment starts to cooperate with you, self-discipline becomes less important.

After reading this, maybe you can stop and think about it:

What is the one thing you really want to change in 2026?

Not ten pieces, not a “new me.” Just one thing – something that is valuable to you and worth investing in slowly.

Then, ask yourself two more questions:

1. Without willpower, could I start with “environment”?
2. Can I make this happen a little easier than it is now?

Three small changes you can try immediately

Instead of waiting for a “more disciplined version of yourself,” try these very specific ways:

1. Let what you want to do “appear before your eyes”

People are driven by “what they can see.”

1. • Want to study? put the book on the pillow
   • Want to exercise? Leave your sneakers at the door
   • Want to use your phone less? Find a fixed “parking area” for your phone

2. Add a little “friction”

If a habit is draining you, instead of beating yourself up, make it a little harder.

1. • Put the snacks in the back of the cabinet
   • Log out of social media accounts
   • Put your phone in the living room to charge at night